Mark Thursday, February 14, 2008

Restaurants

Cursed Location? The Hook Up MarinaBar and Resort Casts a Line onto St. Marys


One might think that any restaurant on the edge of Glenwood South should fare reasonably well.  Apparently not so.  The building at the corner of St. Mary’s and Johnson Street has an interesting track record.  The original tenant the space was designed for, Cold Mountain Creamery, lasted two or three years before shutting down.  Cape Fear Crab Shack, which came away with nothing but good feedback, put in a similar 2+ year tenure before closing its doors.  More recently, and notwithstanding countless positive reviews, the BBQ & Ribs Co. at the same location closed down several months ago.  Actually, parent company Bodie-Noell (Moe’s, Hardee’s) closed the entire chain.  A spokesperson said that, “the chain didn’t meet its long-term growth goals.”

However, according to building owner Bobby Lewis, Bodie-Noell has a long term lease contract.  So, there is a new game here under sublease: The Hook Up Marina Bar and Resort, motto: “Eat Up.. Drink Up… Hook Up!”

This is a tricky restaurant location for several reasons.  Businesses nearby on Peace Street do not lend themselves to pedestrian traffic: street front parking lots set back one story buildings that serve gasoline, drive-thru McRibs, beer and flowers.  It’s centered between two prep schools and an elementary school--not exactly your legal restaurant drinking crowd.  The surrounding residential and office uses are predominantly supported by people who drive to work somewhere else, or drive from somewhere else to work here, respectively.  Whatever is on this site has to be a destination, because if you are the pedestrian, it’s not really on the way to anywhere.

The unsuccessfulness of the previous tenants is likely tied to the building, as well as the location.  The current structure is a single story hip-roofed building, surrounded by asphalt and an uninviting metal fence.  It is anchored at the street corner and ties to the pedestrian through outdoor patio spaces.  This scheme is centered upon itself as most of the surrounding typological kin lends to low-slope roofs with parapet walls, emitting a more urban energy.  In short, the building looks like every other fast-food joint in Anywhere, USA. 

The site rests on a clear edge separating the downtown grid from the rest of the city--it has a unique opportunity to help define the urban edge.  Perhaps it should take cues from the increasingly contemporary attitude of Glenwood South (Helios, The Creamery, Solas, even the gaudy postmodern Paramount).  Why try so hard to be a restaurant?  A relatively small multi-story (and thus, multi-tenant) building of mixed use might be more appropriate to negotiate Cameron Park with Downtown Raleigh, instead of a building that mimics the nearby residential architectural language.

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  • 15002/14 10:43 AM

    I don’t think this location is cursed, or in a bad spot.  It’s on the same block as the Office Tavern and only two from the corner with Red Room, Hi-5, and Bogarts.  If there is a bar feel, it’ll be fine.  The BBQ & Ribs place situation shouldn’t be applied as evidence of a bad location either, as it doesn’t sound like poor business was the reason for it closing.

    I don’t follow how the physical building hinders any business at this location, either.  I certainly don’t see how the building “likely” played into any lack of success at the location.  If the weather is nice, as it often is in Raleigh, then sitting outside will be great.  Just look at how popular it is to sit outside (also inside a fence) at the Mellow Mushroom, which is just a street over, and have a beer.

    As for not being pedestrian friendly....I don’t get this either.  What do the businesses on Peace Street have to do with the St. Mary’s/W. Johnson intersection?  I don’t see the relationship.  All of the streets around this area have sidewalks and I’ve never had any problem walking there. 

    Last thing....keep in mind that within that same block there is a large apartment complex under construction.  Lots of young tenants will be interested in a place to grab a drink.  Having a bar/restaurant on the same block should be a hit for them. 

    I’m not a businessman, so maybe I’m just way off the mark with all of this.

  • RaleighRob02/14 11:57 AM

    ^Good point about the Tucker Apts under construction nearby.  That’ll help a good deal. 
    If the owners of this next place are smart, they’ll do a lot of advertising among those who live in the area.  Cameron Park, Paramount, the Raleigh Apts, Cameron Village Condos, Boylan Apts, etc.  There’s a lot of people who live within walking distance of that locale.  Entice them in with coupons, specials, etc.
    Hopefully, they’ll get “Hooked”.  wink

  • erin02/14 12:05 PM

    i know they closed the chain and that’s why the bbq place left, but i’ve been to one of those bbq & ribs places before and it was the worst bbq ive ever had so that certainly couldn’t have been helping.  maybe something that isn’t a chain would be more attractive?  i agree with the points made by 150.  a place that is family friendly but also where you can go hang out with an adult crowd at night would attract a lot of the same mellow mushroom crowd.

  • Lisa Jeffries02/14 08:28 PM

    Is there food served here? I’m game for trying something new but their destined to fail when I google them and can’t find anything but listings like this… no website with menus?! C’mon… it is 2008. And this IS Raleigh.

  • Lisa Jeffries02/14 08:30 PM

    Holy crap, I just used all sorts of bad grammar and misspelled things. Forgive me, it’s been a long day.

  • 15002/15 07:33 AM

    Lisa,

    I don’t believe it is open yet.  They might still need time for the website/menu.

  • JZ02/15 07:49 AM

    While I’m not militant about wanting a strong urban edge here, I do feel that the site is a bit cursed.  But its more a psychological than an architectural absence that has this location...uh..."challenged" to succeed.  Sure it has adjacencies to other successful bars, restaurants, etc., but the scale, thin distribution and low density uses in the surrounding blocks don’t necessarily allow this corner anchor location to become a sub-district.  I think a critical mass of day-to-night activity would be required in the Johnson and St. Mary Street commercial buildings.  Possibly and change in the streetscape and lighting to define the area.  And I’m not sure if it is appropriate for that kind of effort be expended at this location when Peace Street deserves much more effort.  A destination-based venture it shall remain.

  • Jedidiah02/15 10:00 AM

    The Dominican/Mexican restaurant a block away has a similar pattern.

    But what about The Office Bar?  They have stayed open for years.  How has it survived and food cannot?

  • Robert E Leebowitz02/15 10:07 AM

    Yes, there is a curse!  His name is Bobby Lewis.

  • TJ02/15 11:05 AM

    I agree with Robert and surprised the Bodie-Noell folks got involved with that guy. This new place looks like it belongs in Carolina Beach - tacky signs, etc. and not looking too “family friendly"- more like Hooters for fishermen.  I’ve always said that location is terrible simply because it is located beside (and downhill) from a funeral home -not exactly a good view from the patio.

  • 15002/15 11:15 AM

    I agree with you TJ that it does look tacky.  It doesn’t look like a place I want to go to.  Still, that’s not an issue with the location.  Building on this and on what Jedidiah is asking about the Office Tavern.....if this place offers a good product, and people like it, it should do fine. 

    It seems to me we are discussing two issues. One is the actual business, while the second is the location and if it’s a “curse” and prevents success.  Yes, it’s across from a funeral home, but that’s not going to bother the clientel I would expect at a place called the Hook-Up.  The funeral home uphill can’t even be seen from there, so that’s not relevant. 

    In my mind, I’m comparing this place to Moonlight Pizza.  Moonlight is pretty isolated from other eating/drinking establishments, so it has to be a “destination”.  Granted, it’s location has a better view that this Hook-Up place, but it comes down to product with Moonlight.  It’s good, and people like it, so it’s staying in business.  If the Hook-Up has a good product, I don’t see how the location will knock it out of business.

  • Lisa Jeffries02/15 12:54 PM

    Well I called in my friend from the Downtown Agency last night and word is that it might be opening next week?

    Now, maybe it’s just the marketing side of me… but if you’re even putting signs on the building there darn well better be a website where interested parties can get some sort of info… thus helping you generate buzz and interest - two things that I think will be required to last longer than the “curse” at this location!

  • VaNC02/15 01:27 PM

    Given the location, this place cries out to be a neighborhood bar/restaurant.  Some place where you can get a great sandwich or burger or bowl of soup, grab a drink after work, take you kids for a quick dinner, etc.  I just don’t see this site being a good place for 20-somethings to go “hook-up”.  Or am I wrong that that is what they are going for with that name?  I know I will never go in there based on the name alone.

  • HelenTart02/15 03:23 PM

    My husband and I still miss the barbecue place. We ate there 4 or 5 times a month. The barbecue chicken was out of this world. (Hear that BBQ & Ribs Co.?)

    As a regular, I noticed a lot older folks eating there. I figured they were from Glenwood Towers. It was probably one of the few places in that area they didn’t feel out of place. Sometimes it looked like 3 generations out together.

  • Todd02/16 09:20 PM

    “I’ve always said that location is terrible simply because it is located beside (and downhill) from a funeral home”

    Do you mean the Mitchell funeral home at that corner? I thought that was supposed to be closing when Mitchell merged with the Brown-Wynne funeral home. It was announced all over last year: http://www.localtechwire.com/business/story/1289078/.

  • Todd02/16 09:23 PM

    Oh, and for what it’s worth, I rode by the place a half hour ago with a friend who lives a couple of blocks away, and he’s excited to have what looks to be a cheap-ish seafood option nearby and says he’ll be going as soon as it opens to see how the food is.

  • Christopher B02/18 03:15 PM

    Do people want to eat fried seafood and have a beer in a laid-back kind of place? They do at the beach, they probably will in Raleigh too.

  • Mark02/18 06:09 PM

    Saloon Management Group = City Limits Saloon?

    So is there a mechanical shrimp instead of a bull?  You guys really should figure out a way to exploit and degrade other things as well as you do women.

  • Lisa Jeffries02/18 07:33 PM

    Well CRAP.

    I was hoping to get some good seafood, in a laid back atmosphere. Seeing as how it’s the folks from City Limits (which I’m not knocking, I just doubt their aptitude for serving up some good in-land seafood...) - I’m pretty disappointed.

    And I’m also not surprised at all to see that they’re focusing on MySpace and not their website… which I think is a critical mistake. Sure it’s free, and MySpace is great and all (when you can get past the abuse and crap on it)… but there’s no substitute for a good, well-built website for a restaurant and bar these day.

    Wow, this seriously un-made my day. :-(

  • RaleighRegular02/18 09:48 PM

    For what its worth, Saloon Management Group has brought Raleigh many concepts that have have improved its dining/entertainment options.  From Charlie Goodnight’s in the 80’s, to Havana in the 90’s, to City Limits Saloon more recently.  If you have ever been to Mojoe’s, Around the Corner, Cork, Deep South or Slim’s - then you have seen some of their efforts in the Raleigh market.  They aren’t newcomers or a fly-by-night operation. 
    I was personally very happy to hear that they are bringing an alternative to 42nd St to the Glenwood area.  Not to knock the Oyster Bar, I have eaten there since I was in high school, but sometimes I just want shrimp and beer without the fanfare (or the $50 tab) - I am hoping this will be just the place for it. 
    Also, I believe that the Saloon Management guys are all from Raleigh - I welcome the chance to support local business!!

  • Spider Monkey02/18 09:55 PM

    Oh, I always look for a quality website to determine where I am going to drink and eat.  Geez.  I doubt if Lisa is the kind of person that I want to be in a bar or restaurant with if she judges food and drinks by website prowess.  Let me guess, Lisa, you design websites for a living.

  • Lisa Jeffries02/18 11:12 PM

    With the exception of MoJoe’s, I would say that none of those businesses are places I would go for food… most don’t even offer it at all.

    And NO, I do not design website for a living, but I just can’t stand when companies rely on things like MySpace alone to relay their marketing messages.

    And yes, I too am very excited to see something other than 42nd Street added to the seafood mix. I love the atmosphere at 42nd street and the location but the food has never really been that great to me… I think it definitely gets better during off-peak times, too.

  • peter r.02/18 11:21 PM

    I love local business.  But these guys sound like they were better managed in the 80’s.  And most of the places named are either out of business or really pretty disgusting. Several do little more than contribute to DWI statistics.

    Charlie Goodnights used to be good, but not sure what happened. And MoJoe’s is okay.  Slim’s actually contributes to the music scene.

  • David02/18 11:26 PM

    Not to mention that Lisa had the integrity to use her full name. I can assure you, oh Spider Monkey, that she is very much the type of customer one would want in a Glenwood restaurant (part of the key demographic of that area). 

    Besides, everyone knows that Myspace is the haven of bad web pages. Who wants to be friends with a fried seafood restaurant?

  • Spider Monkey02/19 01:32 AM

    I just find it odd that someone criticizes a restaurant that isn’t open because they don’t have a web page.

  • 15002/19 08:26 AM

    Spider Monkey:  I think Lisa is criticizing their advertising approach, not the restaurant itself.

    She’s got a good point, too.  It sounds to me that the Hook-Up is clearly gearing itself to grab the young college crowd.  The name of the restaurant, combined with the myspace advertising, is sending a pretty direct message.  This isn’t the place that you’re going to go for good food, you’re going to go for the atmosphere.  If it were, then there would probably be some focus on a real website and advertising through other medium, as Lisa suggests.

    I’m not so sure that the approach is terrible.  We’ll have to wait and see.  This will definitely be a different type of place than the other options on Glenwood.  I suppose that can’t be the worst thing in the world.

  • erin02/19 08:31 AM

    i dont know if theyre aiming for the young college crowd.  their location downtown seems to signal to me that they want that mythical young, single professional crowd that “lives in all the condos downtown.” also, since when do restaurant owners/managers have the time and extra cash for a real website?  tons of places you people frequent are on myspace.  thats seriously ridiculous to criticize that.

  • JZ02/19 09:14 AM

    Are we all really trying to assess the quality of this place’s environment and food based on a MySpace page?  How about we simply wait for it to open to bash/laud it. A peculiar waste of a forum/ discussion.....

  • HelenTart02/19 10:06 AM

    I’m willing to assess the place on the “Hook Up” factor. When I was still young and crazy (and before the AIDS crisis) it might have pulled me in. As middle-aged married woman, not so much.

    I could be wrong...maybe all the folks that go to “Hooters” are there for the chicken wings.

  • 15002/19 10:57 AM

    foxy:  Just my opinion, but the people who are living in the downtown condos are not the same people who are going to spend a lot of time at this place.  If they own a downtown condo, they have a little money, and are more likely to spend it at a place like Red Room or 518.  These places have a little more of the downtown feel that condo dwellers are probably after.  The Hook-up sounds like it’s catering to the spring break crowd.  Nothing wrong with that, though.

    JZ:  I don’t see how the thread is a waste.  The marketing is going to be a factor in the level of success, but ultimately, I do agree with you that the product is still the biggest factor.  Regardless, whether the place fails or succeeds, it’s going to be used as evidence for the main topic....whether or not that corner is a “cursed location”.

  • Christopher B02/19 12:00 PM

    let me try to sum up this thread really quickly: a good idea will work in this building.

    (P.S. I think people are getting ‘caught up’ in the name of the place. ‘hook up’ is a cue as to the cuisine and atmosphere.. i.e. seafood/casual. not as much an overture to singles!)

  • 15002/19 01:44 PM

    Christopher B:

    Agree with your summary.

    Disagree that “hook-up” isn’t an overture.  Their slogan clearly is a play on that.

  • VaNC02/19 03:45 PM

    “Disagree that “hook-up” isn’t an overture.  Their slogan clearly is a play on that. “

    I agree, as I have said before.  This place is marketing to the crowd, although I think it would be limited, that likes to go out to a bar/restaurant with the intent of “hooking up” Why do I say it is marketing to this crowd?...well its says it straight out in the name and promo info.  While I know there are tons of places where people, of all ages, go to “hook up” (although older people like me may not know what that phrase means these days), but few would like to admit that is their main reason to go to a place.  So, yes, the pre-marketing of this place is relevant and important....it has turned a big segment of the population off.  That is clear from reading this thread....myself included and obviously others on this forum....even people who may otherwise be interested in a laid back seafood place.

  • erin02/19 03:56 PM

    So “hook up” is like a physical incarnation of craigslist personals?  does anyone know what the menu is like?

  • JZ02/19 04:16 PM

    nothing like a bit ‘o stank fish to get yer sex on.....("hey baby, lets get some clams and then, maybe, you wanna head back to my place?)

  • Lisa Jeffries02/19 07:14 PM

    I’m not going to retort to any of the recent posts anymore, other than saying thanks for the support David. I use my whole name because I stand behind my words (and online posts) and am not afraid to say the same thing in public.

    So I checked out the menu… the offerings look pretty good but something stood out to me… “Cans of PBR: $2.00”. Yikes…

  • Hook Up02/19 07:57 PM

    I have enjoyed reading everyone’s opinion and have finally decided to put in our 2 cents. I guess I can address each issue separately.

    Cursed location: There is some truth to this. Some locations are just bad for business. We are hoping that is not the case here. Raleigh is growing every year and this area has lots of traffic, both pedestrian and vehicle. I know that the ice cream place had strange hours and St. Mary’s was closed for weeks after he opened. I do not know exactly why that business didn’t make it. As for the Crab Shack, I cannot speak with firsthand knowledge, but have heard stories of trouble within the company and that it was too pricey.  BBQ and Ribs did very well. We have seen numbers. The parent company closed down the concept and all 4 locations. They had stronger growth with Moe’s Southwest Grille.

    That leaves us. We hope this concept is right for the location. I am from Raleigh and remember when the Mellow Mushroom was a �gcursed location�h Even the most popular bar/restaurant in Chapel Hill couldn’t make it that location. Same situation for the old New Bar / Have a Nice Day location. It was �ghaunted,�h City Limits Saloon has been there for 4 years now.

    �gNo Website�h If you think about it, the only reason you even know about us and our now infamous catchphrase is this article. We have not done ANY advertising and do not plan on it for a while. Our plans were to open soft, make sure service, food and product are exactly what we envisioned. At that point, we will then put the word out. We have many great ideas that we think will work in this neighborhood environment. I’ll get to that in a bit.  Lisa, we are going to have a website. The designers tell me Rome wasn’t built in a day smile.  The reason we have a myspace already is two fold. It’s easy, free, and if you look at it, you will realize we put it out there as a recruiting tool to hire staff (college kids work in restaurants and bars).  And in response to David’s “Who wants to be friends with a fried seafood restaurant?�” Lisa Jeffries does, just check our Myspace.

    So “hook up” is like a physical incarnation of craigslist personals?
    Umm No. I am extremely glad the name and catchphrase has everyone in a tizzy. That’s the point. Hook UP is a fishing term, plain and simple. If you look at the logo, you will see a fish casting a line. You can also get �ghooked up�h with a great deal - our prices are very fair. Or, you could plan to �ghook up�h with a friend at the Hook Up for cold beer and great food. This is not a singles meat market concept. At no time have we envisioned a bunch of college kids eating raw oysters, drinking alcohol and then making out. That sounds ridiculous when you read this thread. So everyone can relax now. “Eat Up.. Drink UP.. Hook Up!” The catchphrase means if you are going to eat, Eat Up. If you are going to drink, Drink Up, and if you are looking to do this, choose the Hook UP. That’s it. You will need to buy into the concept by having an imagination. We do. To answer Lisa, this company has years upon years of restaurant and bar experience. The food here is good. You can view the menu on, of all places, Myspace. http://www.myspace.com/hookupmarinabar. Our experience in itself does not make a successful business. The customers do and we hope you give us a chance.

    The Hook Up MarinaBar and Resort.  This concept started as a funny idea. Originally it was called GO FISH MarinaBar and Resort! Go Eat.. Go Drink.. Go Fish!  We were unable to get a national trademark on this name and went with the Hook Up instead. We are not a fish camp or just a fried seafood restaurant. Fried is not even the large majority of our menu. In coming up with the concept we looked to see what the Glenwood, St. Mary’s and Peace St area was missing. Well, there is no marina and no resort in Raleigh. We decided to do both.  So we’re going to flood Cameron Park and sell some boat slips. Jk. The Hook Up MarinaBar and Resort is a fun bar with great seafood. Imagine docking your boat in a marina, walking down the pier, going into the first shanty or shack you see and having a very cold beer and great oysters. That’s the Hook Up. In that regard, the architecture of the building works for us. We want to remove you from being 2 Hours Inland and Nowhere near Water. So get hooked on the Hook Up. We have put a lot of time and thought into the menu and drink menu (the oyster shots are great). We will also have weekly bar events. We are open 7 days a week 11am til 2am and will serve the regular menu until 10pm and then will serve our “Fishin in the Dark Late Night Menu” until 2am.We even have a Gupp’s menu for the kids. We are really going after the neighborhood bar feel and want to build some neighborhood regulars. We are hoping for a wide customer base spanning lunch, dinner and late night. We are looking for the condo residents, Cameron Park residents and the Glenwood Crowd.  We also see the Hook Up as being a destination concept for folks all over the triangle, anyone who wants what we offer and can’t get it in Apex, Cary, Durham, etc. We don’t consider ourselves a “college hangout” but we’ll not turn them away either. We are looking for customers who like to relax, drink, eat, socialize and enjoy the ocean and lake lifestyle. Just like us. “Even Vegetarians like Hushpuppies”

    Our goal is to open this weekend, come by, try us out, tell us what you think and help us beat the “Cursed Location”

    Kevin Frazier
    The Hook Up MarinaBar and Resort
    832-3822
    No website yet!

  • 15002/20 03:06 PM

    Kevin,

    Interesting comments.  Take this as constructive feedback from one consumer in the market:

    I live within walking distance of the Hook-up and I’ve been watching as you guys remodel.  The biggest thing that has struck me is your marketing.  Hook-Up, to me, is cheesy and clearly aimed at younger people.  MarinaBar and Resort is also cheesy, because it’s trying to sell an illusion.  For me, it doesn’t work.  Also, the appearance of the restaurant looks crusty to me, with the slogan and writing on the windows.  Maybe that’s temporary, but still.  The result is that I almost certainly won’t check your place out.  I’d rather spend my money at another place in the area.  My loss, perhaps. 

    Regardless, I really do wish you the best of luck.  Having a successful restaurant at that location will be a bonus for all of us.

  • RaleighRegular02/20 04:07 PM

    As another consumer I have to disagree AND agree with 150.  From Kevin’s comments I got the impression that “selling an illusion” is exactly what they are after -seeing as they are not anywhere near a marina or a resort.  I would agree that the appearance of the restaurant could be described as “crusty” - but he did say that they want you to think of a shanty on a pier, where you can get cold beer and seafood - so the word “crusty” is probably somewhat accurate in terms of the look they are going for.  At least this is what I have interpreted from the post.
    It seems as if they have thought through their concept, and while it won’t be all things to all people, it will be interesting and fun.  As long as the food is good (which I am confident it will be), then they have a customer in me.

    I absolutely do agree with 150 that a successful business in that location is the best outcome.  Good luck to the Hook Up.

  • Scott03/21 08:59 PM

    Finally! A fun place to get GOOD seafood! Fried seafood but an awesome selection of alternatives . The fish tacos are the best since I left San Diego. Grilled slab of fish, not fried. Nice cabbage. But it was the guacamole that pushed it over the top. My wife liked the crab cake and said it was the sauce. Kids ate all their fried grouper fish sticks and shoe-string fries and applesauce. The hushpuppies were the size of a childs pinky and oniony. Couple of good draft beers (nice selection) and a few oyster shooters, I'm a happy guy! Definitely turning the office on to this place. Great deal $ !

  • Lisa Jeffries03/22 08:51 PM

    I have definitely enjoyed the seafood. I love that it’s fried, but not greasy - definitely difficult to accomplish! Plus, the MarinaBar Mojito’s are delish grin

  • Emily04/14 10:09 AM

    i think this place will really take off… i’ve just gone their for drinks so far, but the menu is great and affordable!!  there really is no other place in town to get good, reasonably priced seafood.  what i cant wait for is the outdoor patio this summer, drinking DOLLAR miller high lifes!!  all day, any day!  i dont know of any other place in raleigh with a dollar beer special EVERYDAY.  totally rockin.

  • Jonathan05/14 04:28 PM

    THIS PLACE ROCKS! GREAT FOOD (best fish tacos I’ve ever had) FOR A PRICE THAT IS WAY MORE REASONABLE THAN OTHER SEAFOOD PLACES IN TOWN....EVERYTHING IS MADE FRESH TO ORDER, NOTHING FROZEN, AND THE BEST PART...........

    $1 BEERS EVERY NIGHT!!!!

  • Lisa Jeffries05/14 04:57 PM

    ^ Nothing frozen? I think you might be mistaken… I get the fried shrimp basket/sandwich/po’ boy just about every time and I don’t believe that’s fresh fried shrimp.

    And since it looks like the above post might be done by an employee… my boyfriend says we’re boycotting until Hook Up brings back the clam strips wink He was severely disappointed to see that disappear from the menu a few weeks ago.

  • Birns Pail05/31 03:59 PM

    in deed, it has a hook up on the office tavern because it has food.  and you know what kind of food i like?  yeah, you fucking got it, man --- oysters, fucking oysters.  it bothers me a little that it lies many miles from the coast, but it’s summer man, and when everything is just right with the air and the sounds of the air, and when it feels, man, when it feels and i feel it, well, listen man, when things are like that, yeah, i don’t give a fuck how far the oysters traveled before they reached my mouth.  i’m gonna suck those suckers down, man.  you better fucking believe it!  and you know, we can just hang out and drink.  and then?  yeah, you fucking got it man, more fucking oysters.

  • Birns Pail05/31 04:17 PM

    listen, forgot to mention the music.  once i heard weezer, guns ‘n roses - several songs off appetite, nirvana, and other stuff like that.  listen man, that’s not ideal, but it works well enough.  another time i heard country.  hank williams sr, loretta lynn, willie nelson, stuff like that would be alright, but no, this was your modern ass-pinching, no-shirt-wearing, overweight indiana housewife kind of country.  no thanks, man, check please.  i would even prefer the dude outside playing acoustic buffet covers to that shit.  so, i propose..how about this shit man?  seriously, what the fuck do you think about this? ---> mungo fucking jerry, man!  now, that’s some oyster-eating music!  mungo—mother fucking, have a drink have a drive, bigass mutton chop, chest haired, gap toothed—jerry!  and you know, the whole album their hit single, “in the summertime” first appeared on is full of gems.  in fact, “in the summertime” is one of my least favorite songs on the album.  “movin’ on”, “maggie”, “san francisco bay blues”, those songs are fucking gold man.  fuck!  i would love to sit back at the hook up and get drunk while shucking oysters to mungo jerry.  doesn’t that sound like a fucking dream world, man?!  fuck!  i maybe that’s what heaven is like.





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