New Raleigh Reader Makes Positive Comment

New Raleigh Reader Makes Positive Comment

April, 01, 2009, by Jedidiah

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Jonathan Jones logged onto his New Raleigh account on Sunday morning March 29th with one ambition, make as many negative comments as possible. “I hate reading about all this stupid development in downtown Raleigh” Jones said, when interviewed about his normal daily internet reading pattern. “I log on to the internet each day, hoping to find out about what those damned sirens were that I heard outside of my house last night and when I Google ‘Raleigh News’, I always get this New Raleigh site, so I started checking it each day hoping to find out about all the crime in the neighborhood next to ours.”

Instead, Jones said that all he reads about is what new band is cool and the new restaurants in downtown. Jones attempts to keep his online identity at par by only commenting under the handle RDU_xoxo_43. “I just like causing a stir” Jones said. I think I have a voice that must be heard. So he says. Jones has now racked up over 450 comments in only 3 weeks reading the online mag, all of which have attacked other readers, been off topic or are usually long winded. He has even had one or two deleted by the editors.

But March 29th was different. When Jones logged into his New Raleigh account, poised to talk shit to another reader about his opinion on the latest condo building, he found an article that actually touched him. Jones grew up in the Garner area of South Raleigh. “I’ve lived here for 43 years” he said “and never has anyone cared about what goes on in my area of town.” The article interviewed the owner and discussed just how badass Rush Hour Karting was. “Man, I love that place.” Jones commented on the site. “What better way to spend a Friday night than beer and Go-Karts. And, I mean, you know, like, that Blur song that plays everytime I go to the website just gets me pumped. WhoooooHooooo!”

When asked about his new found commenting bias, Jones simply said “Hell yeah man, Rush Hour is kickass!!!! I mean, why talk about all those lame azz skyscrapers in downtown with empty commercial spaces at the base when you have this thriving kickass gokart (commercial) place out here in Garner.”

Jones still reads New Raleigh and has changed his login name after being interviewed for this article. He still comments and none of them have been positive.








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Tagged

April Fools

  • MMI
    04/01 11:24 AM

    Hahahahaha!  Nice.

    Gee, what day is it??

  • Katherine
    04/01 07:15 PM

    hahaha-perfect! We should link it to the Raleigh Everyman post…

  • T-Plain
    04/01 09:12 PM

    Didn’t read whatever’s up there, but light rail is nothing but a boondoggle. You ain’t paying for my gas, I ain’t paying for your light rail.

  • mgd
    04/02 12:50 PM

    I love Rush Hour!  But why does everyone have to complain about someone complaining about someone complaining???!!!! It’s so damn stupid its like a a dog chasing its tail, it has fun doing it until it catches his tail, then he doesnt know what in the hell to do!

  • BA
    04/02 02:17 PM

    I hate this article! What an idiot, how can you write such things, how long have you lived here? where are you from? why don’t you keep your stereotypes to yourself? Why are you so hipster?! Why don’t you just go somewhere else then, we’re all adults here. what is your problem?!


    Blah blah blah blah blah


    Thanks for this! This and Devin’s link the other day: http://xkcd.com/386/. Perfect.

  • Denon Receivers
    01/03 09:39 AM

    Cool post??can you tell me where Overlay.TV showed up on that list? We were trying, but also trying not to be spammy??

  • painter 11
    01/18 09:30 AM

    Nice work Brian you obviously put a lot of work into it. Lets hope 2010 is as fruitful for you.

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    Cool article. No surprises that Google was number 1??

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