I’m not sure what to think about this, but it looks like Saturday night Glenwood South will be full of drunk Santas. Novel idea or silly YouTube material (see video above)? You decide.
Santa apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. If you don’t have any money, be creative. If you don’t have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Already have a Santa suit? Make a spare so Santa can assimilate strangers. Past examples: pimp Santa/Santa garcia/Santa’s naughty little helper. Traditional suits can be bought at local party stores or ordered online for $12 and up.
The answers to important questions that may arise:
Q: Who’s in charge?
Q: What organization are you with?
Q: What are you protesting?
A: “Shitty holiday parties.”
Q: How did you get here?
A: “A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.”
Q: Where are you going?
A: “I’m only allowed to tell you if you dress like Santa.”
And most importantly, pay your own damn bar tab.
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